Wanted to write a proper entry with all the pictures, the stories, that happened over the past few days. Felt like writing one, but at this point of time, I just wanted to do something else. Something different. Something simple.

I've just come back from the airport. She has finally left, after spending 12 days with me here in this land. It was the best 12 days I've had up to this point. And I must say, it does make a world of difference with her around and by my side.

At least I know that I would not be walking back to an empty home. At least I know that I won't have nobody to talk to. At least I know that if I'm sad and down, which I'm now, there will be someone offering me a warm hug and cheerful words.

Today was a tiring day. We woke up with heavy hearts, knowing that today's the day to say goodbye. Knowing that we will eventually say goodbye on the first day is not the same as really having to say goodbye on the last day. Knowing it and actually doing it is not the same.

We basically spent the day on the bed, hugging each other, just sharing the last moment together, and crying in between. It really tore my heart apart knowing that it's goodbye afterall.

Yes, i know. I'll see her again. I'll talk to her again. But it's never the same. And the most important part is I'll not have anyone to talk to, to hug, and to share my emotions with.

Skype and msn are great stuff. But it'll never replace the feeling and emotions that go through our hearts when we see each other face to face.

She's on the flight now, almost half way back to home. I still, and will continue to, miss her a lot. I guess that's the only thing I can do now. To think of her, to miss her.

It'll be another day tomorrow. Another day without her. Another day just being alone. Another same old day before she came.

Would I be better? Can I?

By God's grace, I will and I have to.

Sacrifice

Do you think that in order for you to gain something, you'll always end up losing something?

This thought struck me when I was going out for my dinner. I miss my life back in KL.

I miss family. I miss her. I miss friends. I miss having things to do.

But I knew that to continue my life in KL, I would have to be doing what I'm doing now. Work.

So I have to give up my life in KL so that I can have a life in KL.

Ironic?

Be grateful

The theme of the day, or rather yesterday, was to appreciate the things, the happenings of my life.

Not everything has to be "glass half empty". It can also be "glass half full".

But unfortunately, I've always been "glass half empty" sort of people. I've tried looking at things differently, trying to look at things from the good side of it. However, no matter how hard I tried looking at something positively, I'll just end up focusing even more on the negatives of it.

Today's theme is different. It's about being positive. It's about being grateful. It's about appreciating the things in my life, small or big.

1) Stop bitching about how much you don't like the life here. Appreciate that you're given a chance to live at a different country, learn different culture, learn different things.

2) Stop bitching about how difficult it is working here. Appreciate that you have a job in this time of the year where all companies are thinking of laying-off their staffs and minimising cost.

3) Stop bitching about how far you have to walk to work. Appreciate that you have an opportunity to exercise, to keep yourself healthy.

4) Stop bitching about how far your place is from a train station. Appreciate that you've found a place to stay, a safe place as well.

5) And above all, appreciate the chances that God has been giving to you, over and over again. You've disappointed your family members, your beloved, yourself, and most of all, God. So, appreciate the chances, including this one, to become better.

This is indeed what i've told myself, not once or twice, but many times over the years. But I still seem to struggle with it.

I'll still continue to tell myself to be positive, even after numerous times of failing, until one day, I'll be different.